Pictures I will always cherished

The entire Lefeber family including my Mom, three siblings my Dad had with my Mom and their families, my step mother, Ruth and my two siblings with her.

My children, grandchildren and my Dad

Without going into all the details it is safe to say that my family has some estrangement in it.  One of my sisters and I have not been in each other's lives for about eight years or so.  It has been hard on everyone in the family to say the least - my brothers, my Mom, my Dad.  My Dad's illness only intensified all the feelings.  For me it brought to reality that I would never have the family within my siblings and parents that I wanted.  It also brought right up close that I have my children who love me despite all my weaknesses and faults and an amazing husband who I love dearly.  Together we have a wonderful life.  I have committed putting my energy from this point forward into them and our life together before anything else with the exception of God.  Another gift I received through this process is that my youngest sister, Ronna asked that we get a family picture with Dad before he got too sick.  Today was it - even though it caused a lot of issues we got the pics and oh how I cherish them.   While we were waiting for my oldest brother to get there Andi and Nick asked if we could get a pic with just us and Dad.  I was terrified to ask to be honest due the circumstances of our family but did for them.  I am so glad I did.  Dad was so willing even though he was in pain and made sure every single person or family that wanted a picture with Dad got one.  A true treasure.

Isabella turns 1

Bella turns one today.  So hard to believe.  Just a small little birthday celebration today as we are going to have a big party with Kaydence June 4 - look there for more birthday pics.  Until then it is official for Bella today.  One year.  She is cute and sweet although trying at times we feel so blessed to have her in our family.  Happy Birthday Bella Baby!

Girl's Dance and Dad watches

Cierra the ballet & tap dancer

 Rylee the ballet dancer

Matt with Brooke

So Rylee and Cierra had their dance recital tonight.  They have worked hard.  Dad and I have talked on the phone every single day since his diagnosis.  His plan is to take turns visiting each of his children, staying with them for awhile.  He was going to Judd's today and they decided to come down to watch the girl's dance recital.  So bittersweet.  As it turns out the ride was really hard on him.  A lot of pain.  This will probably be the only visit we get here in our house.  We decided not to tell the girls about his illness before he came - just wanted them to have a good time with him.  They got there just in time to eat a quick bite and go.  After the dance we came back to our house.  Dad gave each of the girls a stuffed bunny and a glowing ball that he called a wishing ball.  He gave the ball one at a time to each of the girls  and asked them to share their wish.  He then gave his wish - for all of his children and grandchildren to be happy and live life to the fullest.  I was trying not to cry but I just couldn't help not.  Between all of that and the fact that Grandpa didn't look so well Elizabeth and Cierra had lots of questions as soon as everyone left so we told them what was going on.  It was hard - they cried and cried and eventually cried themselves to sleep.  They wanted everything that Grandpa had ever given them with them right then.  Their bunnies haven't left their sides.  I am grateful for the gospel in my life that I can have an eternal perspective because for my sake and my children's sake we are not ready to let this man out of our lives.

Max

So this is Max. I know not very creative in the name department but it was what he came with and we didn't feel with all the changes he has had it was fair to change his name too.  Max is a Brittany Spaniel who is 2  years old.  We adopted him through American Brittany Rescue.  We have been searching for a while.  Some times we find ourselves quite happy without a dog and sometimes not.  For sure we knew if we got another dog it needed to be one that would fit our family in every way - including no house training.  So after much research and looking, some disappointments we found Max.  He lived in Iowa before us with a good family that now has to move and can not take him with.  We made plans at least a month ago to pick him up in Dubuque, Iowa today.  As it turns out my Dad is coming tonight to the girl's dance recital.  A lot of big things going on today but we know if we don't get Max now he will be gone and my Dad said we should go through with it so we did.  He is a good, good dog - so good with the girls.

Pancreatic Cancer

My Dad called today.  He hasn't been feeling well for a couple of months - really tired and doesn't feel like eating.  He has lost 30 pounds in a month so finally went to the doctor.  They found pancreatic cancer and have given him 6 months to live.   I don't even know what to do at this point.  I can't imagine my life without my Dad.