My Dad

David Duane born June 22, 1946 died today at age 64.  He has taught me even in death.   His message was clear and gentle - to always keep looking for the positive even when handed a rough road.  I miss so much already.  

Celebration of Life

Although I put this in chronicle order to not confuse things, I wrote it some time later.  I was too emotional and upset at first to put my feelings out there and quite frankly it took awhile to get some of them figured out.  I ended up making a digital scrapbook about my Dad because I had a coupon.  I know my Dad would smile about that.  I found in making this book I found healing and really came to terms with many feelings I hadn't before voiced out loud.  It was a huge part of my grieving process.  Here is what I wrote in my Dad's book...

Dad and my sisters and I (Jeanna and Ronna)

all the Lefeber cousins that were there

Ruth's retirement party 

old and great friends Andrea  & John Feyen

Jimmy and Kaydence

my brothers - Chad, Wade, Judd

Uncle Judd & Rylee

Brooke & Kaydence dancing the polka

Bella and my Dad

Dad with my cousin Cathy

Elizabeth and Nanny Jen

My Dad and I

From very early on in his illness, my Dad made it clear that he wanted a celebration of life party before he died and no funeral after he was gone.  He did not want people sitting around being sad.  Dad felt he had a rich and full life ~ one to celebrate.  So the idea of a celebration of life party was born.  The party was combined with Ruth's retirement party in the late morning and Dad's party in the afternoon.  It was as every Lefeber party I ever remember - food that kept coming, beer on tap ( well rootbeer), lots of family not seen in a while, and of coarse a polka band.  I felt my childhood return as that band played.  There was dancing and merriment.  Even so, for me it was hard to completely enjoy the celebration.  I kept my eye close on Dad.  He was tired and in pain but wouldn't take any medication as he wanted to be fully present.  Judd and I stayed close and tried to protect him but everyone just kept coming.  Everyone wanted their last moment with Dad and he wouldn't turn anyone away despite the toll it was taking on him.  After the celebration we loaded Dad into his van and said goodbye.  I told him how much I loved him and he told me he loved me too.  I waited until the van drove away and I couldn't see him anymore.  I did not know until 3 days later that that was going to be the last I would see him alive.  Thinking back about the celebration I was bitter at first as I wished myself and family would have had that day with my Dad and everyone else would have just gotten him at a funeral.  It turns out that as time passed I realized that I just didn't want him to die.  I have found great peace and comfort now in the fact that Dad had things the way he wanted.  All those people were a testament of his life and all he had to offer.  And his life was rich and full just as he said ... and definitely worth celebrating.

Isabella & Kaydence celebrate their birthdays - ONE YEAR OLD

Today we had a combined birthday party for Kaydence and Bella as they are only 8 weeks apart.  Andrea made a fondant cake for the first time that turned out so good - looking and tasting! We mostly just hung out, ate, visited, opened presents -- had great fun in celebrating these two beautiful girls in our lives.  Aunt Melissa brought the birthday girls the most yummy dish to share.  One of her biggest bowls filled with blueberries and strawberries ever so lightly covered in yogurt.  After a while we had to hide the bowl from the babies - what am I talking about from all the girls including Andi and I.  Yum!  Of coarse our two families, Nick and Kelsey, Aunt Melissa and Uncle Greg and clan, Grandma and Grandpa, Grandma Gretchen were all there.  Uncle Judd and Nanny Jen had graduation (Judd was the keynote speaker) and Grandpa and Grandma Ruth were resting for Grandpa's celebration of life party the next day.  With the exception of missing them it was a fabulous day.  Kaydence and Bella share such a special connection.  It is weird, from the time that they have been able to communicate they have been doing so with each other.  At first we thought they were just fascinated by another  "baby" but the older they get this special connection only seems to grow.  It really is like they were twins sent to us to raise as pseudo-twins in this life.  They are so special to us no doubt about it.