OK I know I have been absent for a long time.  It is my goal to catch up and soon.  I have not forgotten.  All of you that have not given up on me - thanks ;-)

Came across this video today.  OK so I know he is an apostle but still to have so much faith...  my goal

http://www.ldsliving.com/story/66771-mens-hearts-shall-fail-them

Matt got a deer

Matt got 2 deer this year.  A twelve point buck and a doe.  Stay tuned for more pics this spring as the debate as to where to put the mounted buck is on.  Good thing the mount takes six months as it will take us that long to agree where it will go.  I always said no to a mount but this one was a beauty and will be a tribute to my Dad as it was on his property.  Feel free to put in your vote - Matt mentioned above the fireplace and taking down the kids pictures - although at this point he says that wasn't really an option - I was thinking more of not the living room at all ---- stay tuned !
As always it became a family project to process the deer.  Judd and Jen came to help with the doe which was split between them and Nick (Matt's hunting partners this year).  Then Kelsey, Nick and Andi helped with the buck.  Kelsey really wanted to learn how to do it.  She was a trooper for sure and did everything she was asked - even when ticks were crawling on her - wouldn't believe it myself without the pics :-)

Argh - Hey matey its a birthday party

Jimmy heading up the youngest's treasure hunt

Walk the plank, matey!

Kaydence

Isabella

Elizabeth, Rylee, Brooke, Cierra

The girls decided this year their birthday party would have a pirate theme.  Each girl got to invite one friend plus all our family was invited.  Dressing as a pirate was optional but each person that came in costume grew the girls smiles.  The biggest attraction was the plank that Matt made out of spare wood in the garage.  It was totally the girl's idea to have a plank that once they walked off could land on the trampoline.  Matt really had to put on his thinking cap to pull this one off but ended up with Daddy of the Year award in his daughter's eyes because of it.  We also had a treasure hunt, tack the eye patch on the pirate, make your own pirate hat, and food all labeled in pirate lingo including hard tack - chips, blackbeard's biscuits - cupcakes, Captain Morgan's ale - lemonade just to name a few.  Just can't believe these beautiful girls are getting so old.  When we started these themed birthday parties Rylee was a chubby toddler not much older than Bella - looking back at pics makes me get pretty choked up.  We always have so much fun planning and having the party I guess that I have to remind myself that each party means that they are growing up - way too fast.

Random summer pics from our summer fun

Family camping trip 

Fishing in one of Dad's fav spots

Matt and Bella keeping us warm - it was so cold the whole week

hide and seek - Nanny Jen and Rylee

doing skits in honor of Dad over the campfire

Judd & Jen

4th of July

4th of July

Bella chasing seagulls at Lincoln Park Zoo, Chicago, IL

Bella snapping beans - gotta
start them young!

making games up - we should be hired by Matel

Picking blueberries (or our traditional ice cream eating after)

blueberries everywhere

Elizabeth getting the bags ready to pack berries

eating is really part of the u-pick experience - Michigan

cuties after a school fair

Chicago temple

Lincoln Park Zoo, Chicago, IL - it was so hot that day
we were cooling ourselves in the underground seal display

Nick & Kelsey tie the knot

Kelsey and girls prewedding

Kale (best man) with Elizabeth as ring bearer & Cierra, Rylee and
Brooke as flower girls

Our family and then one 

                                                                                                                            big family together

My favorite wedding pics.

So the wedding was just beautiful.  It was so hot outside (probably one of the hottest days of the year) but good memories and just a beautiful day.  I am so happy for these two and can not wait for them to start their life together.  Plus we get a great addition to our family.  If you want to see more pics you can see them at Kelsey's blog which you can find in "my blog list" at the far right of my blog.  Tons and tons of awesome pics - these are just some of my favorites.                                         

My Dad

David Duane born June 22, 1946 died today at age 64.  He has taught me even in death.   His message was clear and gentle - to always keep looking for the positive even when handed a rough road.  I miss so much already.  

Celebration of Life

Although I put this in chronicle order to not confuse things, I wrote it some time later.  I was too emotional and upset at first to put my feelings out there and quite frankly it took awhile to get some of them figured out.  I ended up making a digital scrapbook about my Dad because I had a coupon.  I know my Dad would smile about that.  I found in making this book I found healing and really came to terms with many feelings I hadn't before voiced out loud.  It was a huge part of my grieving process.  Here is what I wrote in my Dad's book...

Dad and my sisters and I (Jeanna and Ronna)

all the Lefeber cousins that were there

Ruth's retirement party 

old and great friends Andrea  & John Feyen

Jimmy and Kaydence

my brothers - Chad, Wade, Judd

Uncle Judd & Rylee

Brooke & Kaydence dancing the polka

Bella and my Dad

Dad with my cousin Cathy

Elizabeth and Nanny Jen

My Dad and I

From very early on in his illness, my Dad made it clear that he wanted a celebration of life party before he died and no funeral after he was gone.  He did not want people sitting around being sad.  Dad felt he had a rich and full life ~ one to celebrate.  So the idea of a celebration of life party was born.  The party was combined with Ruth's retirement party in the late morning and Dad's party in the afternoon.  It was as every Lefeber party I ever remember - food that kept coming, beer on tap ( well rootbeer), lots of family not seen in a while, and of coarse a polka band.  I felt my childhood return as that band played.  There was dancing and merriment.  Even so, for me it was hard to completely enjoy the celebration.  I kept my eye close on Dad.  He was tired and in pain but wouldn't take any medication as he wanted to be fully present.  Judd and I stayed close and tried to protect him but everyone just kept coming.  Everyone wanted their last moment with Dad and he wouldn't turn anyone away despite the toll it was taking on him.  After the celebration we loaded Dad into his van and said goodbye.  I told him how much I loved him and he told me he loved me too.  I waited until the van drove away and I couldn't see him anymore.  I did not know until 3 days later that that was going to be the last I would see him alive.  Thinking back about the celebration I was bitter at first as I wished myself and family would have had that day with my Dad and everyone else would have just gotten him at a funeral.  It turns out that as time passed I realized that I just didn't want him to die.  I have found great peace and comfort now in the fact that Dad had things the way he wanted.  All those people were a testament of his life and all he had to offer.  And his life was rich and full just as he said ... and definitely worth celebrating.

Isabella & Kaydence celebrate their birthdays - ONE YEAR OLD

Today we had a combined birthday party for Kaydence and Bella as they are only 8 weeks apart.  Andrea made a fondant cake for the first time that turned out so good - looking and tasting! We mostly just hung out, ate, visited, opened presents -- had great fun in celebrating these two beautiful girls in our lives.  Aunt Melissa brought the birthday girls the most yummy dish to share.  One of her biggest bowls filled with blueberries and strawberries ever so lightly covered in yogurt.  After a while we had to hide the bowl from the babies - what am I talking about from all the girls including Andi and I.  Yum!  Of coarse our two families, Nick and Kelsey, Aunt Melissa and Uncle Greg and clan, Grandma and Grandpa, Grandma Gretchen were all there.  Uncle Judd and Nanny Jen had graduation (Judd was the keynote speaker) and Grandpa and Grandma Ruth were resting for Grandpa's celebration of life party the next day.  With the exception of missing them it was a fabulous day.  Kaydence and Bella share such a special connection.  It is weird, from the time that they have been able to communicate they have been doing so with each other.  At first we thought they were just fascinated by another  "baby" but the older they get this special connection only seems to grow.  It really is like they were twins sent to us to raise as pseudo-twins in this life.  They are so special to us no doubt about it.